Weak.

marcomadislam:

  Start to tremble and shake from weakness. This tingly pain from the back of my head travels down to the spine and the thought finally kicks me in the ass when I finally realized that I’m hopeless. No tears fall, but I fall to the ground. My knee caps suddenly becomes a substitute for my feet as it feels that this is the highest I could stand. Face it, I’m a weak-minded person who can’t do anything right. As I stand on my knees, I do not wish to pray to god. I do not find the strength in prayer because the thoughts in my mind are weaving across eachother as if they were getting tangled into a scarf that would wrap around my neck and suffocate me until I beg for air. It was not air that was essential at this point; find the answer was. Finding the answer to at least deceive myself to think I am happy made me realize how worthless trying really is. I don’t know what to do. I’m at my breaking point where it sounds so literal as if my Breaking point is broken glass with only sharp edges and there I am; Standing on top of it with my bent knees.