charissardlove:

I sat on the bench where we first met. The moment I stared into your eyes, and felt the warmth of your soul onto mine—
You were the epitome of perfection. The light breeze that would swiftly pass through my cheek.

I rummage through my pocket for a cigarette. I frantically hope for a last stoge to help me through my rumbled mind. I feel the coiled paper, and viciously held my cig to the sun. 

I felt accomplished. I needed another inhale of this poison to keep intact. I’m fighting for sanity here— I just need to inhale and have this bitter taste rest on my tongue. 

So i light up my cigarette. Nothing fancy, just a quick flick of my lighter and there was the orange glow that rekindled my hope. How pathetic, I thought. I’m relying on something so toxic to ease my mind. To release every hostile thought from my mind.

Every thought that consisted of you.

A bit reckless, and a tad cold hearted i begin to construct the barriers and shells that protect me. I begin with the harsh texture of cement, then sealed the deal with pounds of steel that captivate my heart in this tight box. 

I’m a warrior. 

In less than 10 minutes, i inhaled the smoke that sits in my lungs. I can feel my organs deteriorating, but shit i don’t care.

It feels good. i feel good.

And with that last thought, i held the cigarette between my fingers as i viciously threw it to the ground and stepped on it.

Having it represent everything about you. You temporarily left me at ease. I inhaled you with hope and love. I consumed myself in you. I craved you, and i got addicted to your soul. And in less than a couple of months, you ran out of your pure smoke. You left me lifeless, and complex. And like a cigarette, i had to leave you on the cold cement because you didn’t fulfill your job anymore. I did my best to revive you, but you left me soaked in my misery.

And you’re just like a no good stoge. Useless, poisionous—Something i need to get rid of.

(via chariss-ard)